I know, I understand, you are on the crossroads of life right now. It is absolutely normal to be confused, to be scared. But let me assure you, you are on the right path.
You are probably far away from family, alone in your hostel room and trying to figure out a million things. You are stronger than you know. Let me walk you through your insecurities.
Cherish your family. You have no idea how lucky you are to have parents that will support you through anything and everything. Specially when it is time for you to break the norms of the society. Remember that. And your baby sister, she is going to take care of you some day too; although you might be buying expensive gifts for her later. Your Mom and Dad are going to lead you straight to your dream. And though I hate to admit, you will realise they were right all along!
You are blessed with amazing friends. though some aren’t probably talking to you. The right circumstances will bring you guys closer. So maybe cut down on that hatred you feel currently.
Your biggest insecurity. You will transform yourself physically and emotionally for the better. So enjoy your life and stop worrying about all the people constantly telling you to lose weight, or the one’s constantly reminding you how flawed you are. You are so much more than just looks. Once you learn to let go of this insecurity, you will allow confidence to build up.
You have this amazing mystery man built up in your mind that you fancy about. You are going to marry him in the future! So hey homie, pick up those pieces of your broken heart. Do not worry about other guys you meet during this journey. They all will contribute to your life. Just take the good memories and move on. Hahaha, you are going to marry a doctor, so there, I put you out of your misery. (Stop it with the medico/non- medico dilemma).
Life is not going to be easy for next 5 years. But you will handle anything and everything thrown at you. All I would advice you to is stay focused on your goal. It is going to be a roller coaster ride. But life would be boring without any excitement.
You are so worried about education. Stop fretting. You are going to be a hardworking and skilled Anesthesiologist. I know you secretly love Internal medicine, but trust me, you will do well. It is all Gods plan. You are a part of his healing process for humanity.
Ahh yess! You are going to be convinced twice in these years to settle for something less than you deserve. Deep in your heart you will know it. Do not fall into that trap.
You are also going to get a bit meaner. Try and stay nice. Remember your principles in life, as you always say, humility and modesty.
All in all, my dear, have no regrets. Every incident and every person walking into your life will teach you so many things. Take the positives. Remember to thank God each day for the good health he is going to bestow you with.
Money, appearance and fame; like the grains of sand, will slip away. So why worry about these things.
So put a big smile and your party hat on. As you say, be impulsive and live each day to the fullest. And remember to carry a small part of your innocence into the future.
As we both have always believed, ” Right things happen at the right time.”
Your 29 year old, slightly thinner self with longer hair and persisting dimpled cheek.