Girl talk: Too pretty to be taken seriously?

Hi guys welcome to another post on girl talk; dealing with iceberg problems.

(Do check out my previous post Girl talk: body shaming?)

Lets all take a moment and be honest with yourself and think over this.

We all have that one colleague, that one lawyer, that one friend, that one politician, that one neighbour, that one teacher whose outfit is always on fleek and make up on point. And we wonder to ourselves, she probably spends too much time on her appearance and never gets the real job done. This woman is too much into herself. She gets the job done only using her looks.

To tell you the truth I have played both roles; the victor and the victim. So let me explain both.

The Victor

The other day one of senior male colleagues made a snide remark about a girl saying, “she is too busy being glamorous to get the patient issues sorted out.” And I laughed and agreed. So I achieved two things, firstly I validated his remarks and secondly I encouraged him to make some more.

I once cautioned my friend about a woman he was dating by saying, “Be careful, she maybe be high maintenance.”

Last year I was sceptical of an attractive female executive who was helping me set up my bank account.

The Victim

When I scored the highest marks in pharmacology exams in second year of medical school, I was asked by a senior lecturer in the department, “What exactly did you do in the examiner’s cabin, that he decided to give you the highest score?” I was disgusted enough to not answer his question.

While doing my residency, a senior consultant made a comment saying, “She pleases the surgeons in various ways hence they prefer doing cases with her.” So to cover up the fact that he lacked competency and knowledge despite being my senior, he choose to defame  me.

I advised by another senior surgeon to catch hold of a rich, successful guy and become his trophy wife.

During residency training period, I avoided skinny jeans, colouring my hair and makeup, for the fear of not being taken seriously.

My thoughts

  • It is almost a reflex developed within us to gauge a person’s competency. As if a theorem has been proved right; attractiveness is inversely proportional to competency.
  • As a gender we already face enough problems like gender bias, wage gap, lack of flexible work arrangements, sexual harassment, inadequate maternity leave and so on.
  • Why are we targeting sub groups within our own gender?
  • Let the change begin with us. Let us break this vicious chain. Lets stop participating in such discussions or acknowledging such comments at our respective work places.
  • Let us make a conscious effort to pay a compliment to such a colleague or friend for multi tasking and balancing work and personal life.
  • These women probably are working twice as hard just to be taken seriously at work.
  • This was the most difficult post to write. It is actually like a double edge sword. I am not saying I am overtly pretty. What I meant to highlight is, as women, the change can begin with us.
  • Just wanted to create an awareness!

Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences.

Lots of love and power to you!

Two interesting articles  related to this topic worth reading

  1. Too sexy to be taken seriously? Good-looking experts are seen as more interesting but less able, claims study
  2. Why Really Good Looking Women Are Not Taken Seriously

 

Copyright 2018 Chris Lemos All rights reserved

7 thoughts on “Girl talk: Too pretty to be taken seriously?

Add yours

  1. Beauty and brains go hand in hand.
    This is a very sensitive and a very important topic. There is a lot to elaborate and pinpoint as well.
    Mentality:
    I have lived 2/3 of my life in India, and 1/3 in the United States.
    I am a beautiful and extremely professional personality.
    We have seen so many beautiful women who have been highly successful in their field all over the world.
    In India on day to day basis we don’t have to interact with multinational professionals in comparison to western countries, like US.
    Majority of our colleagues in India are our fellow Indians. Here in the US we work and live shoulder to shoulder with multinational, multicultural environment.

    Women well dressed and made up might be a victim of eve teasers and speculation and might face different challenges in India.
    In my everyday life I see million women in New York. In general no one would “care” ( the slang) if why one is dressed, the way one is, or million speculations ….. people admire people in every walk of life…
    May be the “small talk happens in the inner circle” but will say it all depends ….
    I see well maintained women everyday.
    It’s also their life style, their profession requires them to be in a dress code. May be they do it effortlessly and quickly, since it’s habbitual. It’s their every day thing. They manage their time. Multitask. I admire them.
    What’s wrong if beautiful or not beautiful women express their “ being “ the way they do. Upkeep of ones personality is each ones personal thing. I admire women well dressed.
    Personable.
    Evan not so beautiful women are personable
    with great attire and make up.
    Women’s appearance can be questionable, speculated, finger pointed, labeled or none of the above in different countries, societies or where ever “she” is. It’s an issue on different levels.
    The human mind. There is good. There is bad.
    The color of blood is red no matter where “ you” from, what you “do”

    I admire women well dressed.
    Personable.
    Evan not so beautiful women are personable
    with great attire and make up.

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Excellent thoughts! Very well put forward. Well I have recently moved to the UK and I see the same attitude here although in lesser proportions! But really loved your thoughts.

      Like

  2. Chrissy just love the topics you write so many girls and women are bullied by so many men who don’t even have time to clear up their own shit.

    You go girl well said

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Fantastic topic! In my own humble opinion, a beautiful woman who is also smart, educated and strong should be an example to us all – not someone we look down upon.
    In my own life, I meet women who are at the top of their careers, but for whatever reason, they don’t take care of themselves. And I that makes me feel sad…And hey, maybe they truly don’t want to and don’t really care about appearance. And that’s ok! But I really enjoy seeing powerful women who also look fantastic. Michelle Obama. Or Oprah. Or my own denstist, ha! She gorgeous and smart:)
    I love the fact that I am a complete nerd. I’m totally book smart, but I also love fashion and pretty things! Why not!!

    Thank you for this great topic of discussion:)

    Liked by 2 people

    1. Thank you for taking your time and sharing your thoughts! I completely agree with you. Every woman has her own way of expressing her thoughts, principles or opinions. And if some express it through fashion it’s totally fine. Xoxo

      Like

  4. Chris I totally agree with every thought and word if yours in this blog 🙂 I think at the back of our minds as women we always feel insecure when we see a woman who’s may be more presentable than us . There is this constant race amongst women to look better or do better than her counterparts . I think we as women should start complementing each other rather than competing with each other

    Liked by 1 person

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