Hi guys welcome to another post on girl talk; dealing with iceberg problems.
(Do check out my previous post Girl talk: body shaming?)
Lets all take a moment and be honest with yourself and think over this.
We all have that one colleague, that one lawyer, that one friend, that one politician, that one neighbour, that one teacher whose outfit is always on fleek and make up on point. And we wonder to ourselves, she probably spends too much time on her appearance and never gets the real job done. This woman is too much into herself. She gets the job done only using her looks.
To tell you the truth I have played both roles; the victor and the victim. So let me explain both.
The other day one of senior male colleagues made a snide remark about a girl saying, “she is too busy being glamorous to get the patient issues sorted out.” And I laughed and agreed. So I achieved two things, firstly I validated his remarks and secondly I encouraged him to make some more.
I once cautioned my friend about a woman he was dating by saying, “Be careful, she maybe be high maintenance.”
Last year I was sceptical of an attractive female executive who was helping me set up my bank account.
When I scored the highest marks in pharmacology exams in second year of medical school, I was asked by a senior lecturer in the department, “What exactly did you do in the examiner’s cabin, that he decided to give you the highest score?” I was disgusted enough to not answer his question.
While doing my residency, a senior consultant made a comment saying, “She pleases the surgeons in various ways hence they prefer doing cases with her.” So to cover up the fact that he lacked competency and knowledge despite being my senior, he choose to defame me.
I advised by another senior surgeon to catch hold of a rich, successful guy and become his trophy wife.
During residency training period, I avoided skinny jeans, colouring my hair and makeup, for the fear of not being taken seriously.
- It is almost a reflex developed within us to gauge a person’s competency. As if a theorem has been proved right; attractiveness is inversely proportional to competency.
- As a gender we already face enough problems like gender bias, wage gap, lack of flexible work arrangements, sexual harassment, inadequate maternity leave and so on.
- Why are we targeting sub groups within our own gender?
- Let the change begin with us. Let us break this vicious chain. Lets stop participating in such discussions or acknowledging such comments at our respective work places.
- Let us make a conscious effort to pay a compliment to such a colleague or friend for multi tasking and balancing work and personal life.
- These women probably are working twice as hard just to be taken seriously at work.
- This was the most difficult post to write. It is actually like a double edge sword. I am not saying I am overtly pretty. What I meant to highlight is, as women, the change can begin with us.
- Just wanted to create an awareness!
Looking forward to hearing your thoughts and experiences.
Lots of love and power to you!
Two interesting articles related to this topic worth reading
- Too sexy to be taken seriously? Good-looking experts are seen as more interesting but less able, claims study
- Why Really Good Looking Women Are Not Taken Seriously
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